Ode to the Onesie
iboutdoor suffers in the name of fashion…
A drysuit is designed only to keep you dry. To keep warm therefore, it’s important to wear layers of insulating clothing underneath, which trap in air that has been warmed by the body. In really cold conditions, many paddlers will wear a fleece all-in-one suit or “onesie” like this one, from Palm Equipment:
However, a few years ago Primark released a range of adult animal “onesies” designed as party wear and to be worn lounging around the house. Although not as warm as the proper kayaking suits and without the all-important 2-way zip, they were an instant hit with university paddlers and skint dirtbag paddlers.
So, as you can probably work out, if you’re going to wear an animal onesie under your drysuit as a man, you’ll have to rip along the crotch stitching to allow for “comfort breaks.” I made this little modification a long time ago and it has worked admirably until now.
Whilst working overseas last winter, Mum had obviously found my onesie and – out of the kindness of her heart, and unbeknownst to me – taken it upon herself to restitch the “rip” in the crotch.
Now, I’m used to getting some strange looks in my time. However, the look of confusion from the man who walked in to the gents toilets at the Tryweryn, who found me – half man, half “tiger,” apparently stabbing myself in the crotch with a river knife whilst standing at the urinal was something to remember.